Some guidelines...

I asked the great Susan L Taylor how she was able to take the pain and make it so positive... at what point was she able to make that transition? She began to speak, and after several minutes of exchanges, she suggested I start a women's group, a blog, a forum, something where we could talk. Where we as women could come and safely discuss the things in life that have damaged us. Not in the spirit of bitching and complaining, but in an effort to heal and grow beyond what we've experienced.

So ladies, I welcome you to Healed Doesn't Mean It Don't Hurt. Where I claim to have no quick fixes, and will admit there are many days when I'm anything but positive, but where we can work this out together. See, I believe that there's a place where POSITIVITY and REALITY can meet... where we can acknowledge and address the issues in a progressive manner... and where that honesty brings to us healing that frees us from our previous chains of bondage, but also admits the hurt is still something we deal with.

Hopefully, I'm making sense and you all can feel me on this.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

What Is Intended...

So, my intentions for this blog are for it to be a safe zone where women can come and share without fear of judgment or criticism.  I've watched the Oprahs & Susan L Taylors of the world speak so eloquently about their past and their hurts and they seem to be so positive and forgiving about it.  And I wonder what is wrong with me?  How come I'm not there yet?  Is this something that only comes with age or can it be acquired sooner?

Now, having said that, I also want to stay real.  Stay true.  I've never liked to see people who get saved and pretend that they never sinned or that they didn't enjoy it when they did or see people who become monetarily successful and forget where they come from and what it's like to need something.  Same thing here. 

I want us to grow.  I really do.  I want what has hurt and damaged us to become a tool for positive change within us, freedom from bondage, and the destruction of our fears, but I want you to keep it real.  I think that's where the name came from... Healed Doesn't Mean It Don't Hurt.  We're able to move on and be productive in life, but that doesn't mean that the things that have happened to us don't still hurt a little... like they don't flare up like old aches and pains in our bones and remind us of the damage that has been done. Ya know?

In other words, acknowledging this thing not to give power to it, but to take the power away from it.  Make sense?  So, feel free to come here and share, express, cry, shout, or whatever you need to... and we will talk it out together.  Learn from each other.  Get better together.  And maybe, just maybe, we will become "stronger in our places that have been broken" like the doctors say we should.  If our physical body knows how to do it, surely we can teach our hearts and souls to do the same. 

Talk to me ladies.


  1. I love the concept of this blog. Whoever came up with "forgive and forget" never lived through anything real. How are we supposed to learn and rise above if we have forgotten? Growth is not condusive to forgetfulness. The key is to be proactive in our own lives, meet the negativity with positivity, and remove ourselves from the roll of "the victim". I am here for all you ladies and look forward to some heart-felt exchanges! Love and Light!

  2. Jessica.. I agree totally. I think "forgetting" isn't possible anyway and that it's mostly pretending that something didn't happen or that we're not affected by it. Either way, we can't find healing in that. So, I'm with you.. let's talk ladies. :)

  3. I love this idea of the forum, but I have to start out disagreeing with the 'forgive and forget' concept And not to be a religious pain, but God said he forgets those things we have done for our own sake so he does not destroy us. This allows us the freedom of a fresh start which we do not allow others when we keep the memory of what happened. He was nailed to the cross for ppl who would only think of themselves. However, we do hurt and the memories are just those memories. We must use our life's experiences to make us better, stronger, and wiser. I think for some the pain has caused us to be paranoid, thus causing us to avoid truly embracing what life has to offer us. All because we are afraid of being hurt again. Understand, Roses that you must be pruned so you can develop fully.

  4. Yolanda,

    I get the fact hat God forgets, but he is not human. That's the beauty in our relationship with him. Unfortunately, we humans can forgive, but I don't know about the forgetting part. I think that our ability to remember the memories is what keeps us from repeating past mistakes.. ya know?

  5. I agree, that God is NOT human. So He is able to set the standard. I don't think we are capable of truly forgetting a trespass like He does, but I do think that we were built with the ability to love the way He does, so it does ease the pain and dull the memory, so to speak. I think this is a wonderful idea, and look forward to sharing in this forum, and learning from everyone else's stories.

  6. Thanks for creating this forum, I think it is a great way to stay connected to other women. I do have to say that forgiving isn't easy but healthy. Forgetting isn't really something I see as a possibility, you never truly forget the pains, that's a part of growing, living, and experiencing in life. Yes it hurts to remember but in the long run you hurt yourself more by lying to yourself and others around you if you pretend it never happened. If we never felt pain would we even really know how to gage true pleasure? You have to remember the bad to appreciate the good sometimes. Forgive and remember I say, remember that you had it bad at some point just don't let that stop you from continuing to prosper and grow in your character.

  7. Dani, I think I am understanding what is being said here. I was molested by my biological father. I am the oldest child. When it was time to bury him I was in charge of doing that. I was dealing with people who did not believe that my father ever did that to me. Amazingly the scars had healed. I could not even tap into the pain anymore. I know it happened, but I was active in the healing. By that I mean I went to my father and began reconciliation. Maybe this is why ppl think it never happened, but the truth is that is what was needed so that I could bury the pain. I no longer remember the pain, but I remember the event.